Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Is Poverty Necessary?
I think poverty is necessary. Because in societies if there are no poor people that means there are no rich people. This leads to a non-compepetive job enviroment. Static job enviroment can be the reason of bad products of facilities. Also if a poor person understands that he\she can earn much with working hard, he\she could be motivated to work. I think having the same salaries makes unpeaceful athmosphere in societies. If a company owner and a door-keeper have same earnings, how can that be fair? There should be a line between to tear them apart into their statues. I do not mean to humilate the door-keepers,conversely societies need them. If there were no door-keepers at all. there'd be some braekdowns that destroys order.
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4 comments:
the topic sentence is "poor peoples existence is u to rich peoples existance and this leads to a non competitive job enviroment." her ideas are clear enough and by asking questions they became stronger. supporting ideas and examples are good. cocluding idea is also useful enough to state her ideas about poverty.
my topic sentence is in societies if there are no poor people that means there are no rich people and this leads to a non-competetive job enviroment. I think my paragraph is clear enough to understand.My paragraph includes supporting sentences and concluding sentence..But it may contain mistakes or weaknesses in it..
I agree with your comments. You should combine the first three sentences as your topic sentence. The part about "bad products of facilities" is not very clear - what exactly do you mean? Your idea about a "static job environment" should definitely be explored further. Your last sentence about "breakdowns that destroy order" is also not very clear. Make sure you support all statements with clear examples.
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