Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Is Poverty Necessary?
I think, telling that poverty is necessery is selfishness.And I don't want to tell it.Because it means some people should be poor to other people are rich.But there are some facts which I can't ignore.In all societies there are employers and workers.And employers are rich, workers are poor.Unfortunately, we can't block this.Because people have to work to survive.people who work a lot, earn money and they are rich employer.Then they allow someone to work.So it is loop.Absolutely, I think anybody isn't poor but it is a law of life because poor people are working the jobs which rich people don't want to work like hairdressing,dustman.These jobs are necessary for people's life.Therefore, some people should be poor to other people are rich.
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2 comments:
There isn't a topic sentence in my writing.But there is a concluding sentence that is " some people should be poor to other people are rich". Actually this sentence can be a topic sentence but I didn't know how topic sentence write.
I agree with your assessment. You start with your personal feelings, but in academic writing you should really stick to facts and examples. I like your idea of a "loop" and would like to see more specific examples to suppor this. I didn't understand the sentence "Absolutely, I think anybody isn't poor" - I think you need to work on the grammar there.
Why wouldn't someone want to be a hairdresser? Can you speak for all people? Be careful not to overgeneralise your examples.
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