Friday, November 9, 2007
Is poverty necesary?
Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary. Socities need to have poverty because if there are people who are poor in the world, there are rich people, too. It is unequality but they are the consequences of capitalist system. Unfortunately, poor people need money and they provide their money from wealthy people .
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11 comments:
Topic sentence of writing is "Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary." Also, there isn't anything unnecessary in this writing. However, she hadn't give example.
Topic sentence is "although poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary". But supporting ideas weren't given enoıgh.
"Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary" is the topic sentence. There are some supporting sentences but no concluding sentence.
The topic sentence is "Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary".There is some supporting sentences,but these examples are not enough.In addition, there is no concluding sentence.
Altough I gave an example, it was not enough for explaning about the my topic sentence.
Topic sentence is "although poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary". I think that it is clear to explain what the text will discuss. Although, there is supporting sentence that was given is not enough. It could be supported more strong sentences. However, There is not unnecessary sentence.
The first sentence is the topic sentence. There are some more sentences related with the topic sentence but there aren't any significant examples to prove, and there isn't any conclusion made to your paragraph..
Topic sentence:"altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary". there are some supporting sentences but there aren't any concluding sentence.
Your classmates have already pointed out the main weaknesses in this paragraph. You make an unqualified statement in the topic sentence: why is poverty "a bad thing"? Then you say "some of them" - some of whom? This vagueness does not lead the reader into your paragraph. You haven't adequately explained the dynamics of a capitalist system which leaves some people poor at the expense of the rich. Your concluding sentence does not seem related to your argument. I would recommend spending more time drafting your response before posting, as per the assignment instructions.
Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary that's topic sentence. ok. But its not have controlling sentence and ı laim that steatments are too general
the topic sentence is Altough poverty is bad thing and some of them suffer from poverty, it is necessary". there are some supporting sentences but there isn't any conclusion made to busra's paragraph.
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