Sounds like madness but poverty is necessery. Ofcourse poverty is the worst thing that people should not be in this situation. However in capitalist system there must be some groups which have less economic case. Otherwise, we can never say that capitalist system can survive.
There are inequalities between people in the world. It could be the result of the capitalism but until the economical system change (that is almost impossible), there have been capitalism and competitions and differences between people. Also according the George Marshall's article always there have to be poverty in capitalism system.
It is not that I mean people should live with poverty or die result of the starvation or cold. I just want to say that there is capitalism and it needs the inequailities between peoople to survive.
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4 comments:
ı think that topic sentence is clear and understandable.He pointed many essential issues.His ideas are lead to capitalism.Furthermore,he supported his ideas.On the other hand,his concluding sentences are very strong.I mean that it's a good paragraph.
In my paragraph I just wanted to say that poverty is necessery. Also I tried to support my topic sentence. In my concluding sentence i tried to assure my opinions about "is poverty necessery?".
I think writer digressed from the main subject. We should investigate the general property but he investigated property in capitalistic order. Also, I want to see more statistics, examples and informations. But for me the paragraph is interesting because of its disaccording to capitalism.
"Sounds like madness" is inappropriate in academic writing. You should include a controlling idea after "poverty is necessary" to prepare the reader for what is to come. How is poverty "the worst thing"? There is no evidence for this statement. You haven't adequately shown the necessity of poverty in a capitalist system. The next sentence seems to start a new paragraph. The rest of the paragraph is rather disconnected and does not actually prove why poverty is necessary. "I just want to say" does not belong in academic writing. You have a concluding sentence, but unfortunately it ends a paragraph in which your argument has not been supported.
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