Wednesday, November 7, 2007
How can we be happy?
Poverty...The fact which drag people into robbery,corruption,snatching...According to these bad habbits; sometimes we can thing about the costs of wealthy.People who see the differences between rich and poor decide to give the exact opinion on poverty.It is necessary for being contended in society without any problems and illegal attidues.Impossibility of changing the currency disparities make us to expect the indigence in the world.On the other hand; difficulties of living in bad economical conditions make people to think about this complicated fact.However; if we are trying to find the answer of being happy we should change our view of life and accept the poverty for our peace.
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4 comments:
the topic sentence : 'People who see the differences between rich and poor decide to give the exact opinion on poverty.'
This topic sentence is not too general and not too specific and it is a complete sentence that makes this sentence correct.If we critisize this topic sentence; we can understand that this sentence could be more guıding for readers.
I think that topic sentence is clear.It gives the main idea,then the other sentences support this idea.It is not too specific.So,it's a complete sentence.I like the paragraph because writer gives the idea of the connections between poverty is understandable for us.
this writing is interesting.thi interesting thing tto me is the main idea in the writing.The topc sentence is if we are triying to find the answerof being happy we shuld change our view of life and accapt the overty forour peace.
Using ... is not appropriate in academic writing, particularly in a topic sentence, which needs to be complete and clear.
I'm afraid I don't understand a single sentence in this paragraph. My lack of understanding comes from a combination of incorrect vocabulary, incorrect word formation, lack of logical links between sentences, vagueness and no topic or concluding sentences.
Try to be much clearer. It almost seems as if you've written this in Turkish first and then translated it...always a tricky thing to do.
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