Sunday, November 11, 2007
Is Poverty Necessary?
Poverty is the state of being poor. There are millions of people in the world who are living in poverty. But lots of people are wealthy,too.Poverty has the additional meaning of deprivitation of basic need. It allows the creation of wealthy.When you are poor,you will accept any job just to provide for yourself and for those who depend on you.If everybody was rich, people wouldn't want to work and they would want more. For example, like so many in America, people are often overtaken by the "I want more" syndrome such as; more money, a better job or more things.But poverty is mere envy for something additional you wish you has. People are responsible their preferences except some conditionals,like location or another reasons. As a result, in order to someone can be rich, someone must be poor. Because of this, poverty is necessary.It is rule of the world.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Everything else seems to be together except the part about people being over taken by "I want more" syndrome. I don't think this example is relative and doesn't support the main idea. It seems a little off topic. The paragraph has a clear concluding sentence. Everything which was said in the paragraph is concluded with a sentences starting with the signal "As a result". The best feature about this paragraph is it gives a clear explanation of poverty at the beginning. I think this is a good way to start an argument because sometimes definition of concepts may vary. A clear definition prevents the point from becoming blurred.
This writing is interesting.But not so much.The interesting to me is ı want more syndrome.İn the writing, everything is understandable.İn this writing the topic sentence is 'in order to someone can be rich, someone must be poor.Because poverty is necassary.
I couldn't define your topic sentence clearly but the definitions made were also an interesting way to begin your paragraph. Your examples and ideas are clear enough and mostly related to the topic.
Topic sentenceare clear and simple and give some example about this issue, on the other hand concluding idea are not strong why someone must be poor ? sentence must has more details to understand easily and clear.
My topic sentence is " in order to someone can be rich, someone must be poor. Because of this, poverty is necessary." It's clear but I noticed that it's not enough. My example could be better and it wasn't necessary to define what is poverty. I could support my topic sentence and be better.
Post a Comment