Thursday, November 8, 2007
Is poverty necessary?
Unfortunately, poverty is necessary because the economics and money system is only based upon wealthy and poverty, so it means the globalized world is ruled by communism. Despite its being cruel, capitalism is the most suitable monetary system for our world. When we look the opposite side of capitalism we see the socialism but actually socialism did not work When we compare capitalism and socialism we will probably prefer socialism because all people tend to be equal in this system, but in Russian Federation it is tried and it didn’t work. I think the most important reason of not working of socialism is human nature. I read the “Animal Farm”, the allegory of George Orwell’s, and I think the novel is very suitable example for our capitalism and socialism comparison. In Animal Farm, George Orwell explains metaphorically how US’ capitalism Beaten USSR’s socialism. When socialist system starts in the community everybody obeys the rules but after some time passes people change their feelings and thoughts according to their self-benefit and egoistic feelings. In the novel, there is a committee which decides the rules, and after some time passes they add a rule to list: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than the others.” In Animal Farm, Orwell uses animals as the symbol of people living in USSR and from that symbolization he explains the reader that human beings does not worth an equal system because of their nature. In addition, Orwell wants to tell that people always need rulers and pressure makers upon them and that “leaders” of communities always use the other ones according to their self-benefit like in capitalism. In our world, our sources are limited and according to a theory, if rich people number does not increase, poverty will not increase either. In other words wealth of some people makes the others poor.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
This is interesting.I think,writing is helpful to understand title.Topic sentence is "because the economics and money system is only based upon wealthy and poverty,so .....".Example is one.Example was given the book that writer read.
My topic sentence in this entry is "Unfortunately, poverty is necessary because the economics and money system is only based upon wealthy and poverty, so it means the globalized world is ruled by communism." I think it suits the four criteria. It clearly states the main idea of the paragraph and doesent give any unrelated thoughts, it is the first sentence of the paragraph, is neither too general, nor too specific and it has subject object and controling ideas.
The topic sentence of this paragraph is first sentence. Example supports the idea that was mentioned by the writer. There is no unnecessary thing. In my opinion, it is a well-organized paragraph.
I'm afraid I'm completely mystified by your topic sentence. It seems utterly contradictory to me to say "the money system is only based on wealth(y) and poverty" - an unsubstantiated statement in itself - "so the globalized world is ruled by communism". ??? Are you referring to capitalism or communism?
Why do you then go into a comparison of socialism and capitalism? This is off the topic; the assignment asked you to analyse a quote found in the Marshall text. You have changed the focus of the assignment into a summary of Orwell's text and why socialism failed. Furthermore, to follow this route would have required several well-developed paragraphs, but you've lumped your argument all into one. The connection of the book examples to your concluding sentence is very tangential indeed and does not draw the argument together.
It is clear that you have a lot of language and that you can develop examples, but make sure you read the assignment instructions carefully and stay on topic.
Post a Comment