Monday, November 5, 2007
Is the poverty necessary?
The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich because the poverty makes people to encourag. For instance, poor people might have more effort to be rich and if they have this performance, thir performance can be improved their statues in sociaty. Developed poor people conditions make the country's economy better. Therefore, the riches depends on the performance when they were in poverty because, the more people become rich, the better sociaties can develope. I agree with Marshall because I think that the poverty is necessary to get riches. So, the riches needs labour and labour results from the poverty.
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8 comments:
the topic sentence= 'The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich'
this topic sentence meat the all criterias of writing a topic sentence.It is a goog way to make understand the reader about the topic by writing this sentence.
The topic sentence is 'The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich'.I think this paragraph is so clear and it is interesting. all writing criteria is fulfilled.
The topic sentence of this paragraph is the first sentence which is "The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich because the poverty makes people to encourag." and so that the reader can grasp the main idea which is going to be discussed throughout the paragraph. Besides the topic sentence is supported by the following sentences, it is in proper form; not too general or too specific.
Additionally, I congratulate the writer of this paragraph for this well-planned writing. The use of the conjunctions is appropriate; so the narration is very fluent.
However, I would like to give a pieces of advice: The writer of this paragraph should be careful with the grammar and spelling.
the topic sentence is the first sentence.the writer supported the topic sentences with the other sentences.and this paragraph is clear ı think because the writer wrote it in organization.
topic sent: The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich
i read the paragraph easily. it's really well planned.
you supported your ideas well.
My topic sentence is that 'The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich because the poverty makes people to encourage'. It's clear to understand what the paragraph is about. I've support my idea by using several supporting ideas.
His topic sentence is that 'The poverty which is the worst thing in sociaties, is the most significant point to become rich because the poverty makes people to encourage'. The topic sentence is clear and not too specific and the concluding sentence is strong. In my opinion he support his idea
I'm afraid I have to disagree slightly with your classmates about your topic sentence: I do not understand it at all. Firstly, it is grammatically incomplete. Furthermore, what evidence do you have that "poverty is the worst thing in (society)"? Lastly, "is the most significant point to become rich" does not make sense.
The internal structure of the paragraph is better but yourbasic premise that poor people make an effort to become rich is rather oversimplified. You do not clearly indicate what you mean by "performance", nor how poor people can improve their "(status)" in society. Your paragraph would benefit from some more detailed examples of how poor people's ambition to increase their status would further a country's development.
You have a concluding sentence and show general awareness of what constitutes a good paragraph.
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