Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Is poverty necessary?

Globalization, imperialism, capitalism and the desire to seize the economic dominance and political power preclude the equality and prosperity world-wide. While a group of people is developing according to their own benefit, others suffer from being lack of money which is one of the most powerful tools in the world. This situation is not fair and contrary to human rights. Even though T. H. Marshall finds poverty and poor social class necessary for the existence of the upper class which is wealthier and powerful. Additionally, although all of the social classes have a different and special role on the rise of the modern societies in any time of the history since different statuses reveal different qualities and rights, the ones who held the economic dominance and political power do not have the right to utilize the weakness and indigence.

By being deeply concerned that extreme poverty persists in all countries of the world, regardless of their economic, social and cultural situation and that its resulting consequences such as hunger, disease and lack of adequate shelter are particularly severe in developing countries, I don’t think that the poverty is the only necessity for globalization and modernisation. For me, modernisation should not ignore the rights of the poor people such as health, education, sheltering etc. and benefit from their destitution.

Today, development is dependent on the “development of the undeveloped” but my idea is that there can be find other resolutions which will not only help the wealthy class gets wealthier but also support the poor class a life in welfare. It may not be possible to provide all social classes the same life standards but still there can be created new programs or systems by the help of especially United Nations bodies and all governmental and non-governmental organizations.

In conclusion, poverty is unfortunate but “lower class” is necessary in the sense of globalization and rise of the modern civilizations because they exacerbate the economic and social problems in less powerful parts of the world. For me, poverty is unnecessary, ideally; but it is unavoidable realistically. But it still can be eradicated and the gap between upper and lower class can be diminished.

4 comments:

denizdalgic said...

Since my blog isn’t constituted of only one paragraph, I have several topic sentences However, although my blog has four paragraphs, it is not in the form of an essay as it should be. I noticed this mistake when I read my blog entry cautiously. Therefore, for the next blog entry, if I need to write more than one paragraph, I should be careful with the integrity of the paragraphs. Just for now ignoring this mistake, the topic sentences of the paragraphs can be determined. The topic sentence of the first paragrap is the first sentence which is “Globalization, imperialism, capitalism and the desire to seize the economic dominance and political power preclude the equality and prosperity world-wide.” It is good that I stated it in the first sentence and is a complete and clear sentence; but a bit specific according to the paragraph. The reason is that I did not give detailed explaination or example to “globalization”, “ imperialism” and “capitalism”. Actually, the last three paragraphs can be consolidated. The topic sentence of that parahraph would be again the first sentence which is “By being deeply concerned that extreme poverty persists in all countries of the world, regardless of their economic, social and cultural situation and that its resulting consequences such as hunger, disease and lack of adequate shelter are particularly severe in developing countries, I don’t think that the poverty is the only necessity for globalization and modernisation.” It is a long sentence but I don’t think it is too general or too specific and also it is supported with both controlling ideas and following sentences. I think, I could communicate the question and give adequate examples; It could even be more detailed and broad. In conclusion, even though there is a problem with the structure and planning of my writing, the topic sentences can easily be found at the beginning of the paragraphs and the main idea can be understood beacuse the sentences are complete.

goktug ozen said...

if i were you, i wrote only one paragraph. because every paragraph has own topic and conc.

Koray ERCİHAN said...

Of course, there is a problem in topic sentence of the first paragraph but the rest of the writing is quite good. The writer mentioned the ideas with following sentences. In the first paragraph, the writer tells the situation clearly and I think this is very nice for readers. I understood the whole writing and I can say that there is nothing that seems off the topic.

Sonja Tack said...

You're obviously a very capable writer, but for the purposes of the blog, just limit your answer to one paragraph. This will also force you to sharpen your skills by including only the most essential information rather than including everything you know about the topic. I would be happy to give you a separate essay assignment if you enjoy writing.

Your sentence beginning "even though..." is incomplete; it is a subordinate clause and you have not included an independent clause to complete the sentence.

I very much liked the concluding sentence about poverty being ideally unnecessary but realistically necessary.

This sentence is not completely clear: "I don't think (the) poverty is the only necessity for globalization and moderni(z)ation." (don't mix BrE and AmE spelling). What is the significance of the word "only" here?

There are some minor grammatical errors but the language is strong overall and you have obviously read and understood the text and composed a thoughtful reply to the assignment.