Of course poverty is a bad thing for all people but at that time it's the most significant problem in the sociaties because there are big differences between the people,some people are really rich,some people are very poor.However , poor people need the rich people for making a living.if there are not rich people in the world , how can the poor people earn money? Also if there aren't poverty ,how can be richness in the world? Therefore,to me,it's a vicious circle.
Deniz temel
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5 comments:
there isn't clear topic sentence and it is too general. Apparently, a writer isn't sure if the poverty is necessary or not and this is understood easily. If we look at this paragraph from that angle, it is understandable
maybe it can be an introduction paragraph in an essay but as a paragraph it is not clear enough.also the topic sentence is not evident.
It can be said that there is no topic sentence in this paragraph. The writer mentions the situation between the rich and poor people. Maybe the paragraph seems not explain everything but if we read carefully, we can understand what the writer wants to tell. From this point, the paragraph is good.
Why the huge assumption in the first sentence? How does your first sentence address the assignment? Asking a series of questions is not the way to write a paragraph. The reader wants you to answer those questions! Where is your supporting evidence? The reader is left almost completely at sea. Make a statement and follow it up with evidence. The reader should be guided by logic, not questions.
I think, there is no topic sentence in this paragraph and the idea, that she wanted to tell is not clear enough.
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