Saturday, December 1, 2007

Can Turks be trusted with their own future?

Turks can be trusted with their own future. Because in the past, they didn't have freedom,human rigths,democracy etc.However,they could change these. People believed this, they could be trusted their own future and themselves. Maybe, we can live this world because of them. According to Kinzer by "istiklal" Turkish people gave up their fear of freedom, fear of outside the world.To imagine all of them was difficult.However, these were successed. Turkey is democratic country. People have human rights such as speaking, writing, thinking freely. On the other hand, Turkey has good geographical position and different people can live together in Turkey. I think, these may be reasons for more development. In the past, people who thought that Turks are not mature enough to make decisions themselves didn't want that they have human rights. So they decided instead of Turks but Turks didn't need this.Turks could do this themselves. Changing something is proof for this. Also people are more educated, technology improve, life standards are better than the past. These are good things. I think, these will be better than now. Turks will have good future by their own decisions. So they should be trusted and believe with their own future.

1 comment:

Sonja Tack said...

Thanks for following the posting instructions precisely.

A pretty good paragraph overall, but I do have some suggestions:

1. Your first two sentences should be combined, and you cannot start a single clause sentence with "because". Your second sentence is vague: what do you mean by "bad"? When you say "everything changed", this is too general.

2. You could actually streamline your whole argument by writing a topic sentence along these lines: "Turks can be trusted with their own future because they have succeeded in establishing a free and democratic country, which was unimaginable at the end of the First World War." That would lead more smoothly into your supporting sentences.

3. I really liked your point about rulers not wanting Turkey to have human rights.

The beginning of the paragraph is a little weak. Try to get directly to the point. The argument becomes much stronger as it progresses.

Good work.