Saturday, December 8, 2007
Can Turks be trusted with their future?
Every Turk wants to make decision for their future. However, they cannot actualize things which they want everytime. Because there are goverment which has apparent decision and rules. If leader was a like Atatürk, our own future would be safer. Since as we know, after republic was established, we developed and made progress. In addition, Turkey has rich abundant and resources. For instance, many of crops can grow in our country. However, thing which is significant can notice that. Turkey is a country which succeed to be secular and Muslim and any country succeed that. In Kinzer's text, he says that, "If Turkey can entice Muslim countries toward democracy, it wiil reshape the entire world" I think that, it is true. If Turkey can use their resources properly, it always make progress. Because Turkey has young people who mark out for a brilliant future. If goverment give support to us and it can protects eqalitarianism and Turks can have our own right, they can be trusted their own future. Because Turkish people are believing and clever.
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7 comments:
Yes, you should base your answer on the text, but it's very important to paraphrase and not to plagiarise. When students copy from the text, it's very difficult to know if they have understood the text well and if they are capable of handling the demands of academic writing.
Thanks for re-writing it; I will give you feedback as soon as I can.
This is much better. You give several examples to support your argument that the ruling elite should hand over more power to the people.
I don't understand the following:
"However, thing which is significant can notice that."
"...any country succeed that."
What do you mean when you say Turks are "believing"?
You don't give any support to your agreement with the quote from Kinzer's text.
I think it would be better if you added a controlling idea to your topic sentence in which you listed the main elements of your argument: resources, secularism and young people.
"However, thing which is significant can notice that."
That is to say, thing which is significant can notice many of crops can grow in our country and that goodness can turn to our pims.
"...any country succeed that."
Turkey is a muslim country but at the same time it is a secular country. Any countries succeed to be both secular, modernity and muslim.
"any muslim countries"
Thanks for your corrections...
...but I still don't really understand what you're trying to say...
Perhaps by "any country", you mean "no country": No country has ever succeeded in combining Islam, secularism and modernity. (Meaning Turkey would be the first country to do so).
As for the other sentences, they are still confusing...can you try to write them in different words?
we can have abundant earths and resources and we can trust these resources. However, if goverment cannot use them advantageously for our own country, these goodnesses prove useless for us.
I rewrote my paragraph.
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