tTurks should be trusted with their own future. Important point is: Who are those ‘Turks’? ‘Turks’ are the people who must be well prepared, careful, patient, brave and must foresee the future too. Those ‘Turks’ are the people whose idol is Atatürk. Turks must be well prepared. Those are the people who were grown up by learning our Independence War. They must settle everything better than Mustafa Kemal. Because everything will be harder. People can’t see everything because tv’s, newspapers etc erase their brains. War is harder now. Turks must be brave. Because; they must be the people who can both die and kill for their independence when it’s necessary. Like our grands and brothers did at 1st World War, at Independence War, at ’68, at ’80 and now. Turks must be careful. Because real enemies are so close to us. Enemies are brainwashed people. Enemies believe the party in power’s members are patriots. Enemies were against our independence when Mustafa Kemal and his soldiers were saving our grands. Enemies are at the top now. Enemy is the government. Enemies are sheiks, disciples and warlords. Turks must foresee the future. Because Turks’ future will be the world’s future too. By the way Turks are not the ‘elites’ who only cares Dollars and Euros. They are just lapdogs. We do not need money. We need pride, belief and intelligence. It must be added that those Turks can be Turk, Kurdish, Greek, Armenian, Jewish, Brazilian etc. ‘’The person who says I’m a Turk, is a Turk’’ (said by K. Atatürk ). To bring a conclusion we must be both trustful and well prepared. Future equals independence for every Turk.
‘’Youth of Turkey's future,
Even in such circumstances it is your duty to save the Turkish Independence and Republic. The strength you need is already imbedded in your noble blood. ‘’ ( From ‘’Ataürk's Address To The Turkish Youth’’ )
(When I was writing this paragraph I was influenced from the ideas of most objective person ever, Kemal Atatürk. May be it looks emotionally but not.)
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Please make the changes to the blog I've mentioned in order to receive feedback.
i changed the colorsi original paragraph doesn't caontain more than 200 words but added a sentence from Atatürk. With that sentence it contains more than 200 words.
Thanks for revising your blog.
Erdi, I think we've discussed this before. This is NOT academic style. I am trying to find a polite way to express to you the effect this has on a reader. The words overdramatic, exaggerated, subjective, emotional and unsupported come to mind first. It is very off putting and would not be taken seriously by an academic reader.
If you expect to improve your academic writing, you will have to accept its basic principles. You are writing for a well-educated and intellectual audience which expects to see measured, objective statements supported by real evidence, not an emotional avalanche of nationalist sentiment.
Your blog sounds like a revolutionary tract. Such writing is designed to appeal to emotion rather than reason and would certainly never be confused with scholarship.
I suggest you compare your blog with Kinzer's writing style. Can you see any differences?
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