Sunday, December 2, 2007
Can Turks be trusted with their own future?
Turks love living freely and can do every thing whatever it's dificulties. Turks lived a very difficult back-ground and they overcame all of them. In the past they were living in a monarchy but with the help of the Atatürk Turks overcame that. Turks economy was very poor up to 2003 but now the Turkish economy is increasing. In the years between 1990-2000 our exportation was about 20 billion dollars, but last year(2005-2006) it was about 180 billion dollars. Stephen Kinzer says there is no a full democracy in Turkey. In my opinion he's right. There are elite and military who are effedtive in our democracy in Turkey. For example a full democratic government has to allow their people to go to universities whatever they wear a Turban or not , but Turkish government does't allow that. I hope that Turkey will overcome this, too. In conclusion not only Turks can be trusted with their own future, but olso can be trusted with their own succeses.
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1 comment:
Thanks for following the posting instructions precisely.
A few comments:
1. Your topic sentence is too general and doesn't adequately prepare the reader for your argument. It would be better if you used your concluding sentence as the topic sentence, as it's much clearer and more relevant.
2. You have two different points here and they don't really fit together. You talk about successes, then you suddenly mention that there is no full democracy in Turkey and give an example about women in higher education. What is the connection? This affects the coherence of your writing.
3. By the way, "turban" is Turkish. We say "headscarf" in English. I remember telling you this in our lesson.
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